Life and Death:Learn and Love
by PerrythePlatypus
Summary: Yuuri is tortured by strange nightmares and thinks he's not worthy to be maoh. Will eventually become Conyuu.
1. Chapter 1

Long flickering shadows were cast upon the now scorched earth. The colors of the sunset adding to the orange glow emanating from the village. Where there had once been shops and homes, full of life even when no one was there, skeletons of buildings remained, simple husks of what had existed before. Bodies lay about here and there, burning or already burned, lingering reminders in the thick smoke that rose in columns to the taint clear air above. There had been happiness and now there was nothing. This was life. This was death. This was hate.

Yuuri screamed.


	2. Chapter 2

Floating in blackness devoid of light and warmth. That's the only way Yuuri could describe how he was feeling. Lost and alone in a place where love is replaced by hate and everything is a thin wavering reflection of what it should be. A place that exists in moonlight instead of the glorious radiance of the sun.

His outer self was vaguely aware of someone shaking him but he barely perceived the blond shouting in his ear or the worried looks coming from his vassals. He wanted to be alone right now, he wanted to contemplate this solemn void he found himself in in peace. He wanted to be loved. The hate that existed there, like so many chilling hands, tearing at his very being, destroying him. They kept slowly pulling him apart piece by piece, leaving him frightened and exposed. Then a warm golden light enveloped him and the darkness was not so hard to bear. Yuuri fought for awareness and glanced a tan uniform before collapsing into strong arms and relinquishing his restless mind to a deep sleep.

Sunlight wormed it's way across the room and under Yuuri's eyelids causing him to stir. Groggily willing his eyes to open he quickly shut them again thinking his mind must still be dreaming. After several moments Yuuri once again ventured to raise his heavy eyelids. Panic rushed over him as he realized that this was not his room. He had no memory of moving to a different chamber and there were several items on the desk hinting that this room was in use. Surely he couldn't have been kidnapped, it still appeared to be Shin Makoku.

Cautiously, Yuuri got up from the large bed and tiptoed across to the window. It looked down upon the courtyard and he could see the soldiers milling about in the golden light of afternoon.

"Your Majesty?"

"Conrad!" Yuuri nearly jumped a foot in the air not even realizing that the soldiers had entered the room.

"Are you alright, Your Majesty?"

"It's Yuuri! And yes I'm fine, but where am I?"

"Of course, Yuuri. For your comfort it was decided you shouldn't be left to sleep with Wolfram so we moved you to my room since it can be easily guarded."

"Y-Your room?!" a small blush slowly made it's way across Yuuri's cheeks. "B-But then that means...I slept in your bed?!"

"Yes, I hope it was to your liking."

Yuuri's blush spread a little farther and transitioned to a deeper shade of red. He had always imagined what Conrad's room would look like but never thought a chance would come for him to actually see it. Now curious he glanced around a bit more at the sparse decorations. Something was nagging at the back of his mind as Yuuri's eyes traveled from corner to corner, but it kept eluding him every time he grabbed at it. When he had thoroughly scoured the entire room, including the view of the courtyard, the question presented itself clearly.

"Why did I have to be moved Conrad?"

After a few seconds in which Conrad stared at him as if evaluating him, Yuuri attempted to implore his protector to speak the only way he knew how, with his eyes.

"Do you remember what happened last night?"

Puzzled for a moment Yuuri tried to focus on his memory but nothing startling came to mind.

"No, should I?"

This response was obviously wrong when it was returned with a worried look fro Conrad.

"Your Majesty-"

"It's Yuuri!"

"Yuuri, last night you woke up screaming and wouldn't respond to anyone. Eventually you went back to sleep and we decided it would be best not to wake you until you were ready."

Yuuri was sure he must look like an idiot right now with the way he envisioned his dumbfounded expression. He didn't remember waking up at all last night, let alone waking up and screaming. He couldn't even remember if he had any dreams. After several minutes of silence Yuuri felt Conrad's gaze on him and turned with a smile.

"I'm sure it was probably just a nightmare, I must have blocked it out or something," he said cheerfully while heading towards the door, "Hey Conrad, are you coming?"

Reluctantly, he followed Yuuri towards the dining hall, not at all convinced.


	3. Chapter 3

Each night the darkness around him became a little deeper, a little heavier until Yuuri couldn't see himself anymore and was being suffocated by the blanket of inky black around him. By this time Yuuri had also started to remember the dreams after waking in a cold sweat. In an attempt to ward off the nightmares and keep them on the fringe of his mind, Yuuri immersed himself in lessons and paperwork.

Much to everyone's surprise the young Maoh started waking up as early as the soldiers and would stay up signing papers until Wolfram literally dragged him to bed. Although confsed, Gunter and Gwendal didn't complain about His Majesty's new habits. In wonderful form that day, Gunter twirled around with sparkles in his eyes loudly singing about how responsible and dedicated Yuuri was becoming.

Gwendal was relieved of one headache but the relief was short lived as Gunter's singing and Wolfram's protested nagged at his weary mind. Then something occurred to him. Where was Conrad? Momentarily blocking out the noise he glanced around for the tan uniform. Conrad was standing in a corner looking alert as ever, but Gwendal could see his eyes were filled with worry. Quickly dismissing Gunter and Wolfram, Gwendal went to investigate the matter. It wasn't until he was a foot away that Conrad noticed his presence, and, as always, the mask fell into place.

"Did you need something, Gwendal?"

"I need my captain of the guard to be alert."

Conrad let his mask slip off, obviously not fooling his brother, and sighed heavily.

"I'm sorry, I will try to be more studious in my guarding from now on."

"We both know that you couldn't get any more protective of what you're guarding and I'm guessing this has something to do with him."

Conrad looked down weighing the consequences in his mind.

"His Majesty has not been sleeping."

This took Gwendal by surprise With the hours the Maoh was now working he should surely be dead to the world as soon as he laid down.

"What?"

"His Majesty, stays in his room for steadily decreasing periods of time, then spends the remainder of the night roaming the corridors."

"Conrad...I want you to look into this. We can't have the Maoh continue in this manner."

"I've already tried. Whenever I bring it up Yuuri simply changes the subject or runs away."

Now Gwendal's concern was evident, shown by the new wrinkle between his eyebrows. What could the Maoh be hiding that he couldn't even talk to Conrad about? More importantly how was he keeping those hours and still able to stand, let alone work? Gwendal hadn't seen him fall asleep while doing paperwork once since he started working with such new vigor. One thing he was set in Gwendal's mind though. This must be resolved.

"Allow me to think on the issue for a bit. We will continue this later. Now don't you have to retrieve His Majesty for dinner?"

"Yes, I'll go now."

With a curt nod, Conrad was out the door and on his way to the Maoh's office.

The darkness had come again. He had tried to fight it off but it seeped in at the corners of his mind and slowly took control again.

After knocking a second time and receiving no response Conrad pushed the door open slightly.

"Your Majesty?"

He spotted a small black head amidst the stacks of white and silently shut the door behind him. Walking around the table to the small form Conrad realized something was wrong. Yuuri's breathing was coming in small short gasps and his face was a ghostly white against the dark ebony locks that stuck to his forehead.

"Your Majesty?"

This time he said it a little louder and still it merited no response from his king. Conrad grew panicked, Yuuri looked as if he was in pain and, if possible, was even paler now.

"Your Majesty?!" Conrad practically shouted, shaking Yuuri by both shoulders willing him to open his eyes. Still he did not wake.

"Yuuri!"

Yuuri's eyes shot open, blank and unseeing. As his eye focused Yuuri became aware of Conrad's hands on his shoulders and worried brown eyes inches from his own. If not for the memory of the dream, Yuuri was sure he would be fiercely blushing. They stayed in that position for a moment as Yuuri gathered his thoughts enough to form words.

"Conrad?"

Conrad reluctantly backed away returning his hands to his sides, eyes still filled with concern.

"Oh...umm...Heh heh, I must've fallen asleep while doing paperwork. Wow, it's that late already? It must be time for dinner. Let's go."

Conrad stayed rooted to where he was, eyes never leaving Yuuri's Face.

"Conrad?"

"What's wrong, Yuuri?" His tone was stiff, almost commanding.

Yuuri visibly flinched. "What do you mean? Nothings wrong with--"

"It's not nothing."

"It's...It's nothing I can't handle by myself."

Conrad's gaze softened, a blend of concern, sadness, and for the first time Yuuri could see fear lurking at the back of those kind eyes.

"Can't you tell me about it?"

Yuuri was filled guilt, thinking about how much this wonderful, precious person had already sacrificed for him, and what a burden he had been at times.

"No." And with that Yuuri turned and walked briskly towards the dining hall, Conrad hurrying to catch up."

God I suck at dialogue, sorry. Also sorry for the late update, it's been written for a while now but I just put off typing it.

Anyways hope you like it, I tried to make this one longer and change a few style aspects (Did anyone notice that when Conrad was thinking to himself he said Yuuri all the time? (evil plots forming in the mind of the writer) Wow though looking back at this I've set myself up for a very long, involved story and have no idea how it will end.

Thank you for reading R&R please and thank you ^_^


	4. Chapter 4

"Woah!"

"Careful, Your Majesty."

"It's Yuuri!" he retorted as he attempted to steady the horse. He stopped when a gentle hand rested atop his on the reigns and looked up into deep, soft brown eyes.

"Relax. Horses are very perceptive, if their rider is nervous than they will be too."

Yuuri simply nodded, not trusting himself to speak with Conrad in such close proximity. Taking a deep breath Yuuri faced forward again and gently tapped his horse. Yuuri was moving, albeit slowly, but he was moving.

"That's it, Your Majesty."

"I told you, it's Yuuri!" As Yuuri turned slightly in the saddle he saw something dart from beside the path in the corner of his vision. Before he could react the horse was rearing and started galloping off the path. Yuuri gripped the reigns desperately, trying to gain control. As the stallion reared once again his hands slipped.

'Oh no, I'm going to fall!' Yuuri shut his eyes tightly and curled in on himself, awaiting the contact with hard, stony soil. He felt small scratches appear on his back as he fell through branches and something hit his head with a sickening thump before he surrendered to the blackness.

"What is this place?" Yuuri winced as his question reverberated around the seemingly unending expanse of white. There seemed to be no boundaries present anywhere and although it was a bright white, this place seemed bleak. Yuuri felt as if he didn't really exist. His body felt weightless and each step he took seemed to move him no where at all. What time was it? How long had he been in this place? Minutes? Hours? Days?Did time even exist here? Where was everyone? Why was he so cold and alone?

"Conrad?" Silence. "Wolfram? Gwendal? Gunter?" Still no reply. 'Anybody?!' Yuuri cried out running as hard as he could in some desperate attempt to escape.

"Conrad, where are you?" Yuuri dropped to his knees crying.

A harsh cackling echoed around him as Yuuri's head exploded in pain. As Yuuri gripped his head he saw his vision fade to black. Or no, wait. It wasn't that his vision was failing him, everything around him was being soaked in the deep color.

'I can help you.' A voice, that somehow seemed familiar, echoed from the background.

"Wh-Who are you?!" Yuuri shouted, no knowing where his oppressor was.

'You need not know that yet. I can give you want you want the most. All you have to do is let me help you.'

"How is it that you'll help me? And how can you possibly know what I want?!"

'I know everything about you, even the things you don't know yourself.'

"HOW?!"

'As I said before, you need not know. I can help you, but you must agree not to try to stop me.'

"Stop you from what?"

'From eliminating that which blocks you.'

"Eliminating?"

'Killing.'

Yuuri's eyes widened in horror and his head snapped up in an attempt to find whoever was torturing him.

"I can't allow that! Killing is unacceptable!"

'Oh? But as the Demon King you already tread on a road filled with corpses. Just look around you at the blood spilled in order for you to rule.'

Yuuri looked around him and slowly lifted his shaking hands before his face. Dark tendrils of red ran their way around his pale skin. As Yuuri looked down he could now see that everything was not black as he had assumed but soaked with so much blood that it was a deep, dark crimson.

"It's not possible. I wouldn't kill like this. I've been trying to bring peace. NOT THIS MANY PEOPLE COULD HAVE DIED!"

'Such an innocent king. Open your eyes to the truth. You will have to kill. Why not let me do it in your place?'

Yuuri slowly shook his head. It wasn't possible. This wasn't happening. He couldn't take it, the smell of blood was so strong, his head was swimming. So much blood, and all because of him?

"NOOOOO!"

Yuuri lay on the ground sobbing as the cackling erupted around him once more and his vision finally faded.

Please encourage the poor starving college student! Review please, I want your feedback. A little too evil? I was gonna stop with the gloom and doom for a while and had something totally different written but when this idea popped up I couldn't resist. Good? Bad?


	5. Chapter 5

Yuuri's eyes shot open. His vision adjusted just enough for him to see a camp site set up I the middle of the clearing. As he shifted the blanket he had been using for a pillow fell and he caught a glimpse of tan. He looked down to find Conrad's jacket upon him. He smiled as he inhaled that sweet scent of Conrad that wafted around him. However, this was only his jacket, where was Conrad? Yuuri had been left alone again, just like his dream. No one there, no one to help him…except. No! It had said something about killing. Yuuri knew killing was wrong, but so much blood and it had all been shed because of him?

As Yuuri thought about the dream his head began to hurt once again and he held it tightly as he curled his knees to his chest and slid against the tree behind him. He could feel a hot, wetness sliding down his cheeks but didn't care. He had been so cold in that place. No one had come for him. Not even Conrad. What if that actually happened?

"Yuuri! Thank god…" Conrad stopped as he approached the boy. Yuuri had curled himself into the smallest form possible and was huddle against a tree near the edge of the clearing. His eyes were wide and blank as small choked sobs escaped his trembling body.

"Yuuri…?" Conrad questioned gently as he neared his king. Yuuri didn't seem to even know he was there. "Yuuri?" Conrad questioned again. Suddenly a warning bell rang in his mind. It was too much like that time in Yuuri's office. Now thoroughly concerned Conrad kneeled down beside his young charge and gently rested his hand upon the slim, shaking shoulder.

Yuuri immediately flinched away from the touch and his eyes were still blank as he stared at the man in front of him.

"Yuuri?" Conrad questioned softly once again after several minutes. It took several more minutes before something familiar began to appear in those large obsidian eyes.

"Conrad?" Yuuri's voice was cracked and uncertain.

Conrad moved closer to his king and raised a hand to small pale face. Yuuri watched him confused until Conrad drew back his hand which was now glistening with tears. "Why are you crying, Yuuri?"

Yuuri heard such love and gentle compassion in those words he couldn't take it anymore. His face contorted once more as a new flood of tears came and he launched himself towards Conrad.

Yuuri had wrapped his arms securely around his soldier's waist so tightly it seemed he would never let go. Conrad was temporarily too stunned to respond until Yuuri muttered one phrase. How could someone so sweet and innocent hold such sorrow.

"I'm sorry." Yuuri whispered. "I'm so sorry."

Woot. Ok so obviously this was rather short but it works better if I cut it off here. Sorry :P


	6. Chapter 6

Alright as a treat for you guys I made it a little longer this time. I played around with perspectives abit and tried to add in a little bit of some different characters, hope you like

Back at Blood Pledge Castle everyone became concerned when Conrad and the Maoh didn't return from a riding lesson.

"That wimp! When he gets back here I'll kill him for cheating on me!"

"Oooooohh Heeeeeeiiiiiikaaaaaa! Why do you prolong your lessons with Conrad but only ever skip mine?"

Gwendal's eye began to twitch.

"Why should he spend time with any of you?! I'M his fiancé!"

"Heika belongs to all the people, Wolfram."

"He belongs to me!"

"Now Wolfram, I'm sure Shibuya wouldn't be too happy if you have that kind of attitude."

Gwendal's arms tightened across his chest where they were crossed.

"No one asked for your opinion!"

"Wolfram! How dare you speak to Geika in such a manner!"

"He asked for it!"

"SHUT UP ALL OF YOU!"

All eyes fell on the stern man in green who took his time examining each face in the room.

"His Majesty is with Conrart so he's probably safe. I'm sure there's a logical explanation."

"There's no explanation for stealing MY fiancé! I'm gonna go find them."

"WOLFRAM! Pleae refrain from making such rash decisions. I'll send a scout to verify their safety but you must remain here to fulfill your duties."

If stares could kill, anyone in between Wolfram and Gwendal at that point would have burst into flames.

"Fine." Wolfram ground out as he stomped out of the office.

"Yozak," the spy appeared from behind the door, "find Conrad and His Majesty and make certain they're safe."

"Understood," with a curt nod Yozak was out the door and immediately headed to the stables.

The trail had been easy to follow for someone with as much experience as Yozak. However, when he came upon the spot where the tracks had completely gone off the path, he grew concerned. The Captain would never take the king for riding lessons in the thick of the forest, at least not willingly. Now on full alert, Yozak slowly guided his mount through the underbrush. They certainly hadn't been trying to maintain stealth with how many broken branches Yozak came across. At one point quite a ways into the forest Yozak spotted two marks in the soil where looked like a horses hooves had come down hard and to the right of it was a very dented bush. The young king already occupying most of his mind Yozak hurried to follow the trail before the sun set completely in a few minutes.

As Yozak became aware of a fire burning nearby he crept towards the faint glow as quietly as possible. Yozak could have said he was relieved. He could have said he was surprised. He could have said he was angry or even sad. But more than anything, Yozak was confused. His king was silently crying, clutching at Conrad like his life depended on it. What surprised and confused Yozak even more was the emotions that could be plainly read on Conrad's usually blank face. Yozak made his way towards the entrance to the clearing, deciding that it wouldn't be a good idea to startle anyone this time.

The sound of a twig snapping put Conrad on full alert mode. His eyes darted around the perimeter of the camp and he strained his ears. A rustle, closer this time, was all Conrad needed to verify his suspicion. He glanced down at the mop of black hair beneath his chin. Obviously he wasn't in any position to draw his sword so he decided it would be better to initiate the confrontation now. Tightening his hold on Yuuri, Conrad questioned loudly, "Who's there?"

The statement had no apparent effect on Yuuri's state. The rustling near the clearing entrance grew louder before Conrad saw a very familiar red-head pop out.

"Yozak," Conrad sighed, relief apparent on his face.

"Sorry, Captain. I was trying not to startle you."

"It's okay. I'm just glad it's you." Then slight embarrassment made itself known in Conrad's usually steady voice, "Could you come over here?"

Yozak then became even more confused if that was possible. Even when Conrad had thought there was a threat he had not drawn away from the king. Even now as Yozak approached, Conrad made no movement to indicate he would relinquish his grip. Yozak hurried across the clearing, fearing the boy might be hurt and even unconscious. As he neared the pair, however, he could see wide black eyes staring across the camp. Even if there was something horribly wrong with how those eyes were empty and never blinked as silent rivers etched their way down the young face. Yozak could see the Maoh mouthing something but couldn't make out what it was. As he knelt next to Conrad he heard the slightest whispers of, "I'm sorry," over and over and Yozak was sure those soft words would etched into his mind forever along with the sorrow they carried.

Conrad caught Yozak's worried glance before he turned to the boy in his arms.

"Yuuri?" The whispered apology never ceased and Conrad detected no response. "Yuuri?" He tried again and pulled back slightly. All it elicited was a small whimper before Yuuri backs towards Conrad again.

"Yuuri, we have to move. We need to get you back to the castle." Yuuri's small arms only tightened their grip on Conrad's midsection. Conrad sighed and looked to Yozak.

"I guess we're staying here for a while." Yozak nodded and went to retrieve his horse. With Conrad otherwise occupied he would have to guard the camp tonight. Conrad stood, the young Maoh still hanging on his waist. If the situation weren't so alarming, Yozak was sure he would be laughing.

The next chapter will probably have some heavy Conyuu in it for those of you who are reading this fic for that aspect for those of you who aren't I still hope you like it, please encourage the poor starving college student by reviewing, please and thanks :D


	7. Chapter 7 Author's Note

Ok so I know that there are at least a few people out there waiting for the next chapter of this story. I'm sorry that I haven't updated in so long, I've been having school issues, friend drama, seven deaths in the family, and a sister's wedding. Excuses, excuses, I know but I'm writing this note to let people know that I have not forgotten about this story. I have taken the time to clean out my desk and relocate the notes for this story so that I can continue it. I'm on summer vacation now and I only have a weekend job so things should get moving pretty soon. I would say to expect the next chapter within a week and I will make a every effort possible to have AT LEAST one new chapter added each week. Thank you so much for your patience and I hope that you will continue reading.


	8. Chapter 8

**All right, so FINALLY here's the next chapter, I hope you enjoy it -__- I honestly have no idea why people even bother to read the crap I write, I haven't written anything for a few months and am sorely in need of practice *cries* but I'll try. Anyways from here on out things will really get moving in this story so hopefully some of you will stick around to see what happens next. Please encourage the poor starving college student, R&R! **

Yuuri was back in the same dark place as before. He couldn't tell if it were a dark crimson still or just plain black and neither did he want to differentiate the two. A small voice fell around him as if in drops of water and dissipated like ripples upon the waters surface. He had to strain his ears to make out the words.

'I'm sorry'

The words echoed around him over and over filled with such sorrow that it nearly broke his heart. It wasn't until he felt steady trails running across his porcelain skin that Yuuri realized he was crying. The pain that sprouted an bloomed within his chest was more agonizing than anything he'd ever felt before. Yuuri curled int himself and willed the sharp stabs to become at least less frequent. They voice still echoed around him as his head throbbed painfully. Why wouldn't it stop? All Yuuri wanted was to be a good king. Why did he deserve this? Soon he found himself chanting along with the softly spoken apology as if it would block the pain that still ailed him.

Thin black arms like those of a shadow wrapped themselves around Yuuri from behind. Yuuri could feel cold breathe against his neck, making him shiver, as the figure behind him spoke.

'You don't have to apologize. It's not your fault. Nothing is your fault.'

"Yes it is. Everything is my fault. I'm the Maoh, everything is my responsibility."

'You didn't want to be the Maoh. They forced it on you. Everything is they're fault.'

"They're fault?"

'Yes it's all because of them. You don't need them though. Let me take care of them for you?'

"Take care of? You mean....eliminate?"

'Yes, eliminate.' Yuuri could hear the grin in the voice behind him.

"I couldn't do that! Everyone has been so kind to me. They've done anything to make them deserve death."

'But Gwendal is so stern and makes you do all that paperwork keeping you away from what you really want to do.'

"He only does that because I have to. It's my duty to the country."

'And Wolfram, he's so violent with you and always accuses you of lying.'

"Wolfram is kind hearted he just doesn't know how to control his emotion well."

'What about Conrad?'

"Conrad?"

'He betrayed you. He fought with the enemy.' The icy voice whispered in Yuuri's ear.

"But he came back! And it wasn't his choice!" Yuuri's tears continued to flow as memories from that time flooded into his mind.

'He's done it once. He could do it again. What's stopping him from leaving your side again?' A cold hand gently wiped away some of the crystalline tears from Yuuri's face.

"He wouldn't do that! Conrad cares about me!"

'Are you sure? All he's ever done is act as a godfather and a soldier. Wouldn't he be disgusted if he knew how you feel?'

"NO! Conrad's not like that! He wouldn't.....!"

'He wouldn't what?'

"He wouldn't leave me again. All alone. He couldn't." Yuuri finished quietly.

'You can't trust anyone. They'll all leave you alone. No one will stay with you.'

_Will no one really stay by my side?_

'I'm the only one you can trust. If you give yourself to me I can make sure no one hurts you ever again.' The voice whispered seductively.

"Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to never be hurt."

'That's right. You'll never have to feel anymore pain. I can make it all go away.'

"Can you really do that? Does anyone have that kind of power?"

'Yes, I can. I have power beyond your imaginings. I can make all your wishes come true.'

"Then maybe.....I'll trust you."

'That's a good boy. Now just go to sleep. I'll make sure you're safe. I'll always protect you.'

Yuuri surrendered himself to the darkness, the cold tendrils creeping across his skin and numbing him as they swam across his vision. As everything faded, Yuuri could make out the cold laughter that echoed around him and vaguely wandered if he had made a mistake.


	9. Chapter 9 Good and Bad News

Okay so I know that I promised you guys a chapter a week and I'm sorry I lied, it was not intentional. Last semester my grades weren't up to par with my mother's standards (I got an A-, B+, B, and B-, yes I know my mother's standards are insane) so I was sent off to a study concentration camp (no it wasn't actually called a concentration camp but it felt like one) for the summer. Unfortunately since it was study concentration camp I was not given any free time on the internet, AT ALL. Seriously I tried to sneak on and check my email a few times and got caught. Not. Fun. So anyways good news first. The good news is I still had pen and paper so I finished the fic. The bad news is that I have yet to type any of the new chapters up yet. So I just got back and it is currently 2:30 a.m. here so sleep first and then I'll type. Just wanted to let you guys know that you'll be getting the rest of the story soon. Oh and one more thing about the story. There will be no lemons. I'm sorry, I'm only fifteen. The only experience I have is from reading other fanfics and I'm confident enough in my ability to write lemons yet to actually expose them to the public (I can see the angry mob coming after me if I did). So hopefully I'll get the new chapter up for you tomorrow and the rest will follow when I have time around my school schedule to type them.

Thank you for your patience,

Perry


	10. Chapter 10

**YAY! It's FINALLY here! :D It even has some conyuu fluff hidden in there. Oh and by the way, just a heads up, for the rest of the story you're going to be seeing a lot Yozak, just because his character is so much fun to write 3 Once again I don't see why anyone bother to read this (maybe I'll be a good writer after another few years of practice) but I hope you enjoy**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN KYO KARA MAOH OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS (if I did Wolfram would be seen as little as possible and Conrad and Yuuri would be happily married)**

Yuuri's eyelids felt as if they were made of bricks, but the small amount of light that shown through them was beginning to agitate him. Surprisingly enough he felt very well rested but was loathe to extract himself from the cocoon of warmth around him. As he tried to turn away from the intrusive sun beams he found that a strong pair of arms held him in place. He also found that his own arms were wrapped securely around whoever was next to him.

"Yuuri?"

Wait a minute. Wasn't that Conrad? What was Conrad doing with him, sleeping in his arms, god knows where…sleeping…in his…arms?

Yuuri could feel a hot blush spread across his face as he attempted to sit up and away from Conrad. However, Conrad's grip on him remained strong and resulted in Yuuri merely pulling far enough away that he could peer into those deep chocolate brown pools. From his current position he could see that he must have slept the night with his head nestled right beneath Conrad's chin. That realization encouraged the crimson hue adorning his face to spread to his ears and neck.

"Yuuri? Are you all right? You're awfully red." As Conrad murmured the last observation he gently pressed his cool lips to Yuuri's forehead. Yuuri was afraid he would faint.

Licking his lips Yuuri formed the words that had vacated his mind when hw realized he could feel the heat radiating off the man next to him.

"I..I'm perfectly f-fine."

"Well, you don't have a fever." _A fever! Of course that's what he was doing! Yuuri, you idiot! Stop mixing your fantasies with reality!_

"Uh, Conrad?"

"Yes?"

"Do y-you think you could..um..l-let me go now?

"Of course, sorry Your Majesty."

Yuuri leveled him with the best glare he could muster (which on Yuuri turns out to be an adorable pout) and retorted, "Hey I just told you to let me go, not bring back all the formalities. I thought we were making progress."

"Sorry, Yuuri." Conrad chuckled as he replied.

"Heeeeey, if the two lovebirds are up then we should head back to the castle." Yozak chirped merrily from just outside the tent. He laughed when he could hear a muffled choking sound and a very red Yuuri popped his head out to glare (coughpoutcough) at the red head.

"Lovebirds?"

"I just call 'em like I see 'em. Anyways we really should be heading back. Everyone is probably worried about their wayward king."

Suddenly reminded of the castle and his responsibilities, Yuuri let out an indignant squeak and rushed about trying to get ready to leave. The other two watched the black, untidy mop of hair scurry around the camp for a few seconds before deciding to find out the problem.

"Oy, Boyo! What's the rush?"

"I still had seven papers that needed my approval sitting on my desk and by now there's probably more paperwork for today. Gwendal is going to kill me."

Yozak glanced at his captain before smiles made their way to both their faces. Yuuri seemed well enough despite what had happened. They could question him about it later. For now they would focus on getting him safely back to the castle.

**LOVEDBIRDS_LOVEBIRDS_LOVEBIRDS_LOVEBIRDS**

As they made their way back to the castle, Yuuri seated on Conrad's horse and his being lead behind them, Yuuri couldn't shake the feeling of being watched.

"Your Majesty? Why do you keep glancing behind us?"

"I told you, it's YUURI! Is it so hard to remember two syllables?"

"Sorry, Yuuri? But, why are you watching behind us?"

"I don't know. I keep getting this weird feeling, like there's something watching me."

Yuuri looked down in confusion and frustration as he attempted to explain his concern to Conrad.

"Don't worry Yuuri, nothing will be able to hurt you."

Conrad smiled reassuringly though Yuuri could tell that his guard was now on full alert. That made him feel a little better. Still, he could have sworn he just heard the twisted laughter of someone, or something, upon the wind.

**LOVEDBIRDS_LOVEBIRDS_LOVEBIRDS_LOVEBIRDS**

When they reached the gate of the castle Yozak went in to announce Yuuri's return and Conrad lead the horses to the stable. Yuuri decided he would tag along with Conrad before seeing everyone.

As the soldier finished settling the horse back into their stalls, Yuuri approached him, given a bit more confidence by the slightly dimmed light of the barn.

"Conrad, I…you've always been there for me and helped me through the darkest times, and whenever I fell you were there to pick me up, even when you were…gone…you were still by my side helping me and well what I'm trying to say is …thank you."

Conrad looked shocked to say the least, there was also confusion, and was that happiness he saw dancing in his eyes?

"Your Ma—Yuuri, I glad I could be of help to you but…what brought this on?"

While he had been rambling, Yuuri had been inching closer to Conrad and they now stood only a few inches apart. Yuuri prayed with all his heart that the man standing before him wouldn't hate him for what he was about to do.

"I'm telling you this," Yuuri stated softly as his hands gripped the front of Conrad's jacket, "because of this."

Yuuri held his protector's gaze for a moment before gently leaning up.

Conrad froze as Yuuri closed the distance between them to bring their lips together. Eventually his body relaxed and leaned into the soft touch. The contact ended all too soon as Yuuri pulled back. Yuuri smiled gently and Conrad could see the hope swirling within obsidian depths, but before he could say anything Yuuri had already run out of the stables.

**Phew. That chapter was harder to write since I left the story alone for so long and I dramatically changed the plot from what my original idea was. Anyways I hope you enjoyed, if you did please review, I love getting feedback, even negative stuff (especially negative stuff cuz it helps me improve) Look forward to the next chapter which will be up either tomorrow or the day after. **


	11. Chapter 11

**Okay so a day late…better than the updates I've done. I'm sorry. Sigh, why must I always make my stories overly depressing? Oh well, the mystery will start to be revealed in the next chapter! I hope you enjoy. ENCOURAGE THE POOR STARVIN COLLEGE STUDENT! R&R! Please and thank you!**

Conrad paced nervously up and down the length of his room. What had brought that on? He was quite sure he had never let his mask slip, at least not around Yuuri. Yuuri thought of him as his guardian and protector, didn't he? Conrad stopped a moment and brought a hand up to brush his lips. Yuuri had taken a hit to the head and had been disoriented…after twelve hours. His reasoning sounded pathetic even to his own ears, but there had to be some explanation. But what if he returned the feelings Conrad had for him? Conrad physically and mentally shook himself. No, Yuuri was his king. There was no way to describe how inappropriate this situation was. As Conrad began pacing again he didn't notice someone slip into the room.

"You know if you keep that up you'll wear a rut in the carpet."

Without turning to face the intruder Conrad continued pacing.

"What do you want, Yozak?"

"Well if that's your attitude then maybe I won't tell you the message I have form king Yuuri."

That stopped Conrad's pacing. He turned to find Yozak, leaning lazily against the door frame with amusement dancing across his features.

"Message?"

"More like an order really. He wants you to come to his room later."

Conrad froze and leveled Yozak with a look that plainly stated 'Are you serious?'

"Oooooh! What happened?" Yozak asked excitedly while waltzing further into the room.

Conrad seemed to shake himself loose of his paralysis and glared at Yozak.

"That, my friend, is none of your concern."

"Something did happen! I knew it! Did he confess? I bet he did. Oh Captain, you're one lucky man!"

Conrad took a step back with a puzzled expression and tried to remind himself that Yuuri had been disoriented due to injury.

Yozak stopped his tirade.

"He didn't confess?"

Conrad shook his head.

"But something did happen?"

Conrad nodded.

"What then?"

Conrad swallowed and took a breathed deeply.

"He kissed me."

"HE kissed YOU?" Yozak said while gesturing from the direction of Yuuri's room back to Conrad.

Conrad nodded once again.

"Ooooh! I never thought he would be so forward. He was so shy when he talked about you. So when's the wedding?"

"You know hat can never happen." Conrad stated firmly looking everywhere but his friend's face.

"And why not?" Yozak questioned as his usually grinning face took on an expression serious enough to match his captain's.

"I'm just a soldier, nothing more. Inappropriate doesn't begin to describe—"

"But you love each other."

Conrad and Yozak stared each other down for a minute before Yozak sighed and turned to leave.

As he walked out Yozak called over his shoulder, "Remember to go to King Yuri's room tonight."

Conrad stood staring at the closed door for quite some time before slouching into a chair.

What was he going to do?

**When'sTheWedding_When'sTheWedding_When'sTheWedding_When'sTheWedding**

Conrad took a deep breath and raised his hand to knock before sighing and letting it fall to his side once again. There was no way that he could reject Yuuri, but he couldn't be with him either. Conrad sighed again and looked imploringly at his feet, as if willing them to take him anywhere but where he was. Suddenly there was someone next to him and the door before him was open.

"Yo, Bocchan, the Captain is here!" Yozak yelled as he pushed Conrad into the room, causing him stumble.

Conrad recovered quickly and turned around to yell at the spy's back as he ran down the hall, "Yozak!"

Yozak merely waved over his shoulder as he turned the corner. Recomposing himself, Conrad turned around to find Yuuri attempting not to laugh, and failing. Conrad had to chuckle at this too. He closed the door and proceeded to stand at the Maoh's bed side.

"How are your injuries, Your Majesty?"

"They might get better faster if you remembered my name."

"Of course, Yuuri."

Yuuri beamed at him and gingerly fingered the white bandage peeking in between the strands of black hair.

"Nothing's too serious. The worst thing is the bump on my head, but otherwise I'm fine. I wish Gisela would let me get out of bed though. Even doing paperwork is more entertaining than this."

"Would you like some books to pass the time?"

Yuuri's face brightened at the thought of a distraction. Conrad simply smiled.

"I'll see what I can find."

Conrad turned to leave but heard the rustling of linen behind him. Before he could look back, Conrad felt slim arms slide around his midsection and a head rested on his back.

"Don't go Conrad. I…I called you here because…I…I love you Conrad!" Yuuri's grip on the soldier tightened as he whispered, "I want you to always be by my side."

Conrad's heart tightened at the mere thought of hurting Yuuri like he was about to. Conrad loosened Yuuri's grasp and turned to face him, still in the embrace. Big mistake. The obsidian eyes shining brightly with hope that were trained on his features made the next statement all the more difficult for Conrad to say.

"Yuuri, I love you too." Yuuri's features brightened. "That's exactly why we can't be together." And immediately fell.

"But…why not?!"

"My status, my age, your engagement, and the list could go on. A relationship with me would only cause you pain and trouble."

"I don't care about that! All I care about is having you by my side!"

Yuuri's eyes were brimming with tears as he laid his head against Conrad's strong chest. Conrad sighed and rested his hand atop Yuuri's head, gently stroking the midnight strands.

"I will always be beside you, just not in that way. Yuuri, I will never leave you."

Conrad slowly extracted himself from Yuuri's now limp arms and guided him to the bed.

"You should rest now, Your Majesty."

That seemed to wake Yuuri from his state of shock as he made one more attempt to keep his guiding light next to him.

"Conrad! Please…please, for just this once ignore the rules and tell me what you want!"

The only response he got was a soft apology as Conrad slipped from the room.

In the darkness of his room that night, Yuuri once again heard laughter as he cried crystal tears trying to purge his broken heart of some of the pain.

**Whew. That one was tough to write. Originally, I had Conrad and Yuuri end up together in this chapter and that was where the story would end but I decided there were WAY too many loose ends. ARGH! Once again I can't seem to break away from making my stories incredibly depressing. I hope you like it though. Next chapter should be up in the next few days. ENCOURAGE THE POOR STARVING COLLEGE STUDENT! R&R! Please and thank you. **


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